COVID is like the abusive boyfriend
you've caught
through every fault of your own,
because you carelessly left the door open
like an invitation. And in he flew -
broke, red-faced, all brass and bravado
promising rest and isolation
your own medically-mandated staycaytion
away from the unforgiving world.
But now he’s there, everywhere.
Squatting in the empty space of your life,
sitting on your chest at night
till you can’t breathe, every inhale
tiny shards of glass he's left like broken
test tube vials in the bed.
He's loud,
makes obscene gestures,
offends your aunts and uncles,
makes small children cry.
Hoarder, he's toxic to overflowing
with both fluids and words.
And with each mutation
his ego grows, ballooning
more insidious, jabbing skillfully
at the grotesque human need
you’ve now become:
All snot and tears,
pain living in your chest
like a hammer, his touch
ringing through your joints
like a delirious fever dream.
His voice bangs
incessant percussion behind your eye bones,
a spiked hangover that won’t quit.
Codeine coats your throat
in a syrupy sweetness you can’t taste
curdling like the plans you’ve made and canceled
because he’s attached himself to every ruined cell
you hold.
Your body isn’t yours anymore.
It’s his.
Addict, he’ll pawn your six feet of social distance
for a bottle of horse dewormer
that he’ll dilute with bleach. Drink up, sweetie
he’ll croon as he hands you vitamin c.
In the same breath,
He’ll ask you
if you’ve thought about what death
feels like, the silent dark
closing around your heart like a fist.
Baby, he's got you walled in.
He’ll keep you like a relic
between the two lines of a test
you’ve already failed,
kissing you wetly, in triplicate;
a crooked smile
hooked behind the ears like a mask.
At some point he'll leave you like he found you,
weak and emptied of all misgivings
and ever so sorry
for glancing over,
for inviting him in
to burrow deeply inside each cell
until you can’t remember the before.
But your body will remember.
Your immunity is as high
as your spirit,
floating above your healed hope
like a tenuous balloon.
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